Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus 

Anything you can do, I can do better!!!

 Nag, Nag, Nag and Punch    
   A man left work one Friday afternoon. But, it being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire week's wages.When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" To which he replied, "That would be fine with me.
   "Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

credit to http://gotaf.socialtwist.com/redirect?l=fv2o

Fifteen cents Jokes

Junkies

   The Criminology school at UCPM (College Park) is one of the world's top ten. The Professor had conducted an oral exam. The students were asked to offer an approach "how to prevent teenagers using drugs"

   Marty the most brilliant student draw out two coins, a dime (10 cents) and a quarter (25 cents) and then showing on the quarter "that's your brain before using, and it will shrink to a dime size while using" all the students applauded, "brilliant, I like your approach" said the professor.

   Now Gordon from the NYPD who have ten years experience on the NYC streets said: "Okay, that's fine, but I would use those two coins in a better approach", the professor disliked Gordon because he was snoozing during his lectures, but let him continue. Gordon said "your ass hole is a dime size now, but after you get out of Jail, it will become like a quarter" Oh, The professor had to admit that Gordon's answer is better than Marty's. 

The Butyrka Band  (Butyrka is a famous Prison in Moscow)

Brides

    Dee went to the Minister and asked him she wanted a divorce.                                                    Minister: "Tell me please, what happened, you just married Don last year?"

Dee: "My ass hole was the size of a dime before marriage and now it has become a quarter"

Minister: "Dear Dee, what's the matter, you shouldn't divorce just because of 15 cents"

15 Cents Song

Sex Dictionary

    Everybody heard about the book One Thousand and One Nights  the Synopsis (see the Wikipedia site) The main frame story concerns a Persian king and his new bride. He is shocked to discover that his brother's wife is unfaithful; discovering his own wife's infidelity has been even more flagrant, he has her executed: but in his bitterness and grief decides that all women are the same. The king, Shahryar, begins to marry a succession of virgins only to execute each one the next morning, before she has a chance to dishonor him. Eventually the vizier, whose duty it is to provide them, cannot find any more virgins. Scheherazade, the vizier's daughter, offers herself as the next bride and her father reluctantly agrees. On the night of their marriage, Scheherazade begins to tell the king a tale, but does not end it. The king is thus forced to postpone her execution in order to hear the conclusion. The next night, as soon as she finishes the tale, she begins (and only begins) a new one, and the king, eager to hear the conclusion, postpones her execution once again. So it goes on for 1,001 nights.The tales vary widely: they include historical tales, love stories, tragedies, comedies, poems, burlesques and various forms of erotica. 

   I brought you this introduction to introduce the Arabic linguistic richness of male and female genitalia.   Scheherazade, told the king, that the Arabic language uses about one thousand names for the penis, but less then one hundred for the female's vagina? Today many western languages, are using dozens of names calling the penis, in English one can find about 125 names. 
Now as we know, Donna Juanita had great experience with many males, and she sort the males private parts into seven main categories:
1. Penis - shorter than three  inch. use it to pee only.
2. Willy - about four inch. its good enough for all practical purposes. 
3. Dick - about five inch. most women feels very comfortable with him. 
4. Chode (Choad) - about five inch but about six inch circumference.

5. Cock (Sausage) - about six inch and about five inch circumference.
6. Ding Dong - remind her a pencil about eight inch long and about four inch circumference.
7. Dong (Dork) - longer than nine inch with a six inch circumference. most women dislike  
    Dongs,  but Donna Juanita is still searching for.

Dudes don't worry about your size even Donna Juanita, prefer your Credit Card, she will hide it in her cha-cha and will call you "OMG I am shopping"